Sunday, January 2, 2011

Once Upon A Time at Office Depot

If you were looking for a semi-somber, mostly introspective, and completely philosophical post, look elsewhere.  Today I am going to write about Office Depot.

Once upon a time a girl was traveling around the territories of Clarkston in her '97 Mali-mobile.  One brightly lit neon sign caught her attention.  Office Depot  Those gleaming words attracted her.  Not like one enchanted; instead, she felt as if guided by an invisible hand through those glass double doors.  Here is where the happy violin music in the background stops.  For this was an abandoned, lonely Office Depot.  The employees gathered in small clumps and lit up at the sight of the newcomer. 

"Do you need any assistance?"
"Can I help you?"
"What are you looking for today?"
"How can I be of assistance to you?"

The questions flew at the girl at 100 miles per hour and nearly knocked her off her feet, and worse, her mission.  She gathered her wits however and with a smile and "no thank you" she pointed her feet towards her destination.  It was a magical journey. 

Walking past the brightly covered thumbtacks, she glanced longingly back yet continued on.  The planners were even a harder temptation.   Harder still, the graphic organizers made her stumble a moment as she stopped to examine the new arrivals.  Finally, she found her sought after item.  A pack of beautiful, pre-sharpened Ticonderoga pencils.  The packaging advertised that they were the best in the world. "How true that is," she thought.  The way back was equally enthralling.  Mountains of brightly stacked post-it notes filled her heart with joy.  A rainbow of sharpies unfolded around her.  Her face was filled with wide-eyed wonder as she skipped through the aisle of paper.  College-ruled, neon colors, journals, notebooks, wide-ruled, hole-punched and red-lined.  All seemed to call out to her.  The only thing that dampened this glorious journey was the pack of desperate employees that seemed to be around every turn, eager to be of assistance.  She found it particular that no other consumers seemed to be enjoying this beautiful land of office supplies. 

Five hours later, she made it out of this wonderland and back to the desolate parking lot.  Her trip was over, life must go on. yet she forever stored those images of organization and color-coded goodness in her mind and heart.

The End.

All right, I had my fun.  I clearly avoided anything deep or revealing.  Give me this then, just one new year's resolution.  My resolution is to be less organized.  I'm too likely to compartmentalize my time and my relationships.  I believe I am in danger of requesting my friends to wear certain colors so I can color code them more easily.  I have a tendency to live by my to do list, which really isn't living at all.  Even computers can obey a program.  My desire to is live with less lists and less spreadsheets.  Please try to hold me to it.  I promise I won't brand you with my sharpies.

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