Random Rant

For some reason, I have a strange compulsion to share about myself. I have all these thoughts spinning around in my head and I'm starting to get dizzy. Plus, I am not focusing on my art history like I should. So perhaps this will help.

1. I am a dreamer. I dream almost constantly. Not just when I'm sleeping and not just nice "here is what my future will look like" dreams. I imagine every scenario in my head, realistic or otherwise. It's my type of escape. The only problem is, I often forget to come back to reality. So if you hear me talking or gesturing and I seem completely disconnected that's probably exactly what has happened. I disconnect when things aren't going well. I know eventually I'll have to always live in this world but I don't know what I'd do without my dreams.


2. I have a bad habit of trying to make everyone happy. Not because it isn't a noble goal, but because it is impossible. I try to be everything to everyone and I end up burned out. But I know I also am quite selfish. So its not that I am always giving or anything like that. I just change who I am to fill in voids way too easily.


3. I love my job. Even though I rarely want to go, spending time with kids can make my day so much better. I like the fact that I'm needed and that there is someone always asking "Chloe, can I show you something?"


4. I am horrible at lying to other people but amazing at lying to myself. I have figured out how to change my memories. While this helps with the rough patches in life, it also makes me doubt what really happened and can be quite confusing. I can seperate who I really and who I am being so I end up unsure of which is real. I'm sure I'll figure it out someday soon.

I have more to say, but I think I've sufficiently emptied out my brain so I can now memorize more pieces of art. ta ta for now.

So there's this new drug called Facebook.....

Hello. My name is Chloe Smiley and I am addicted to Facebook. This addiction has afflicted an entire generation. I know several friends who have reached a point of no return. You know the part of all of those medicine commercials that list off all the potential side effects? And if you listen closely you start to wonder...why in the world would I take medicine that might kill me just so my legs stop feeling restless? It really doesn't add up. The same goes for facebook (see, I wasn't completely off topic). We are so easily impressed by the flashing images before our eyes that we stop hearing the side effects. So I am going to spell them out (cue images of happy people walking through fields of flowers to distract you)

1. Tendency to walk through life seeing it through the eyes of "ooh! that could be a good status" This has been reported to cause fatal narrow mindness and inability to enjoy life for what it is instead of enjoying life for the status it could inspire.

2. Leads to fatal self-centeredness. Many people have found that facebook leads one to base self-affirmation in number of comments, likes, friends, wall posts, etc.... Once reality hits, these empty affirmations will hurt you more than a denied friend request ever could.

3. Abnormal behavior and seizures when denied access. Life seems empty and meaningless with Farmville.

4. No longer able to communicate with friends face to face. People with this side effect often try to link things to their friends in the real world, only to recieve weird looks. Also leads to attempts to comment on others conversations resulting in the unsavory titles of "evesdropper" and "creeper"

5. Unexplainable urge to poke people as a form of interaction. The results when one finds others do not think poking is endearing can be disastoursous.

6. Inability to go on the internet/do homework/fulfill responsibilities/pet your dog/eat........without checking facebook first. These distorted priorities will catch up with you and the resulting chaos will provide the perfect sympathy evoking status. Lucky you.

Some claim that the benefits of facebook (being friends with people you don't know, seeing events that you weren't invited to) far outweigh these side effects. Don't let the pretty pictures fool you.

This is only the beginning but I can't finish this post now...I need to go post this on my facebook.

The Ripple Effect

Here is a sneak peek at my speech for Induction....please tell me what you think!
I apologize that I have not finished my five theories series...it will happen...eventually.

Service isn’t about the hours logged or points earned. It’s about the smile on someone’s face and seeing the incredible power that helping others can have. One of the best volunteering experiences I have had wasn’t so rewarding because it helped me meet my volunteer hour goal. Instead, being able to see the gratitude and happiness on the face of the person I helped was very potent and gave me perspective. Just a small sacrifice of my time and energy meant the world to someone else. A comparison of how much time we spend serving ourselves and serving others can show how easy it is to have our priorities wrong. Being able to serve others and see the huge impact it has on them helps us realize that helping others is infinitely more rewarding than helping ourselves. When we serve ourselves, it only benefits us. However, when we give our time to help someone else we create a ripple effect of happiness and service that build a stronger community. An act of service never stands alone. Helping others is contagious: inspires other acts of service. This ability of service to multiply itself is incredibly powerful and cannot be ignored. It is often just what our community and family needs. Anne Frank once said, “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” Serving others isn’t limited to volunteer hours. We have the opportunity to help others every day of our lives. Service isn’t something that can be switched on and off like the lights. It is an attitude, a smile, an awareness of others’ needs, an intentional act, and one of the greatest gifts we could ever give.

The Way I Saw It: 9/11/01

I found this story on a piece of paper under my bed a while ago. It is about the way I saw 9/11. I don't believe I wrote it while I was six but rather a few years later. I'd date this around ages nine or ten. I typed it up as is, please excuse the grammar and incomplete sentences.

War to a child

Sitting inocently, playing with her sister, her Mother rushes to Tv. People on the screen talking frantically. Billows of smoke.

What Is Going ON!

Mother explains two very tall buildings have been hit by airplanes. Olders sister seems to understand. Everyone is so gloomy. It's rather confusing and consuming. A family that rarely watches TV has the news on. The only thing that makes any sense is that there is a pattern to the news. They repeat the same clip every fifteen. In between are reports of more terrorist destruction. Everthying is touched; even her birthday, the on month anniversary. The airplanes flying by seem rather frightful. The years pass, the war does not. It is continual. It slowly slips from the child's mind only to suddenly be brought back with a new "terror" report.

Will it end before her childhood is over?

I wrote this so long ago and yet the question is still valid. Will it ever be over? My childhood is quite gone. Yet the war and terror remains. Is this a passing phase or new era?

Theory #2

Today’s world offers many different gauges for success. In high school, success is often judged based on grades, test scores, athletic ability, or number of friends. Later in life, success gauges usually come in the forms of spouses, job, income, housing, or type of vehicles. People are often judged by what they achieved or what level of living they have managed to reach. The difficulty with this way of judging others lives is that it fails to take into consideration extraneous situations. No one ever starts on the same square in the game of life. Everyone is endowed with different opportunities and begin at different “life levels”. When this is considered, society’s current method of gauging success is not only very biased, it is also incredibly inaccurate. I believe that a better method would be that of gauging others improvement when determining whether they are a “success” or not (even thought that title is often arbitrary). When others are judged by their efforts at improving themselves, it doesn’t matter where they started or where they end up. What is truly important is that there is an endeavor to be a better person, daughter, husband, sister, etc… The person that is truly living every day striving to be, act, and think better than they had the day before is a true success in my eyes.

Theory #1

Throughout last year, I came up with five theories about life. I believe these theories can relate to anyone's life but you may disagree. That's nice. So, the next five posts will be in a series about these theories. So, without further rambling:

THEORY #1

The real reason behind the beauty, innocence, and wonder of childhood. NOTE: If you had a horrible childhood, please stop reading. This does not apply to you. Oh, and I'm very sorry. I hope the rest of your life is better.

When I was young, I lived in an entirely different world. This is why I saw things differently. Time never seemed to run out because the clocks and I were friends. Really, I used to talk to all the clocks in my house. I even tried to arrange a marriage between the two of them. The world wasn't depressing because I had no idea what was going on. ever. My comprehension of words, emotions, actions was incredibly limited. Relationships weren't ever stressful because my mom arranged playdates for me. I didn't have to worry about who was hanging out with who. My best friends were inanimate objects like my scooter or a plastic bag and piece of string (aka sweet homemade kite). I wasn't ever bored because everything was new. There was so much to learn and experience. I could create a game with absolutely nothing. I wasn't insecure because I didn't know enough to ever think that there might be something about myself that wasn't completely awesome.

Once in a while, I wish I could switch back to that time. I realize now that my happiness as a child had nothing to do with my age. It had everything to do with how I viewed the world. And sometimes, if I imagine very hard I can go back. It's beautiful.

Things That Make Me Happy

• warm chocolate chip cookies and milk



• bouncing a rubber ball



• finding something that I thought I had lost forever



• adults asking (then listening) about my life



• potato soup in a bread bowl



• color-coded anything



• knowing that God has a perfect plan for my life



• organizing anything (drawers, school supplies, my friends' lives, you name it: I'll organize it)



• turning off my alarm and going back to sleep



• chocolate milk



• running past a house that recently did laundry and smelling the detergent and dryer sheets



• watching old home videos



• wondering at how I survived my childhood after watching old home videos



• ducks (any type)



• a really good book



• writing in this blog



• knowing my future husband is out there somewhere and wondering if he is thinking about me



• making up impossible life situations



• going home after a long day



• people that remember something that is going on in my life and ask me about it



• peanut butter, chocolate, and pretzels



• genuinely friendly strangers